Comms life can be relentless. The pace of change has escalated during the pandemic and the need for fast-moving comms is now the norm. With this comes a heightened need to re-evaluate work/life balance to avoid burnout. For mums in PR, this often comes with a health warning: the constant cycle of guilt.

Working mum guilt is the toxic idea that someone who has chosen to return to work after having kids can’t have it all. For many, it’s the feeling of always letting someone down, whether it’s your kids, manager, client or team.

The pandemic has normalised the need to prioritise family, with many now able to tackle childcare challenges whilst working from home. For me, it’s also become normal for my team to start most meetings chatting with my son for five minutes before we get into the weeds of our Zoom sessions. This understanding of family life has helped to build connections with people faster since you get a sense of someone’s whole self and not just their work persona. But why is mum guilt still present?

To break the mum guilt cycle, there needs to be a mindset change. Feelings of guilt require compassion, which is arguably an important trait of a good parent as well as a colleague. Learning to let go of guilt, and acknowledging that you’re sensing compassion for the situation is important to bring back a sense of balance. 

You can have it all. More often than not, your kids or your manager aren’t noticing a less attentive you and it’s likely that you’re your own worst enemy.

There’s some additional things that you can do to break the cycle:

•       Have open and honest conversations at work. It’s likely that your manager or team understand what you’re juggling, and are even doing their own juggling act! Talk about whether that client report can wait until the morning. Is the last minute “urgent” request from leadership really so urgent? Saying no and re-prioritising your to-do list is an important step to getting to grips with your workload which often is the culprit for guilt in the office.
•       Check your moral compass. We all have a set of values that we live by. Mine is to be kind. Overworking, both at home and at work, isn’t being kind to yourself or those around you who might sense the added stress. If your life choices are impacting your mental health and/or your values, it’s worth re-evaluating what’s important. If work must take priority this week because of an important project, don’t forget that it’s temporary and your kids are likely to be just as happy that you’re at home whilst they play (in my case get stuck into another Super Mario adventure).
•       Don’t forget Me time. It’s easy to lose sight of who you are once you have kids. Can you put the kids to bed early to watch an extra episode of your favourite series? Can you ask your partner or a family member to look after the sprogs so you can get deep into training that will help your career path? Just book that girls night out that you’ve put on hold since before lockdown started. It’s important to find time just for you.
•       Find your tribe. At work we have a number of employee resource groups which are a safe place to talk and connect with like-minded people. Being able to share experiences helps you feel empowered. If these groups aren’t available at your company, think about what’s available in your wider network both at work and at home.

Coming from a PR mum, know you’re not alone. It’s time to be career driven and a great parent, and own it.

Devika Mistry is an External Communications professional with over 12 years’ experience in corporate, B2B and crisis comms having worked across the technology, media and telecoms sectors.

Currently, Devika is Head of EMEA PR at Rackspace Technology, managing external communications across UK, DACH, Benelux and the Middle Eastern markets. She is also the EMEA Chair of  POWER (Professional Organisation for Women’s Empowerment at Rackspace), an employee resource group which aims to bring balance into the workforce.